The closer you are to someone, the more pain they can cause you.

This is the second time I realized a friend of mine betrayed the trust I have in her. When I first realized it, I was speechless. There were a lot of emotions that went through my head. Anger? Hurt? Sadness? Disappointment? It was more than that. It was unbearable. The more emotions I felt towards this friend of mine, the more I hate myself. How could I be so naive to trust people so easily? How could I not have seen this coming? How am I so stupid for letting this happen to me AGAIN? Although, this friend was different from the one before, the pain in my heart is similar. Just like last time, all I could do is turn around and cry. I hate myself. I hate how I’m so trusting of people. I hate how I didn’t take my other friend’s advice of how I should keep my guard up towards her. I hate how I feel guilty when I know in my head that I’m not the one that did wrong. I hate how useless I am since all I can do is silently cry. The most irritating thing is that no matter how mad or how angry I am, I can’t truly hate her. All I ever wanted is an innocent and blissful friendship but why does it have to be full of drama and deceit? All that’s left are broken shards that use to be a full mirror called friendship and tremendous pain that is deeply etched into my heart. For everyone out there, please don’t be like me. Please don’t leave yourself defenseless. The pain hurts more than you can ever imagine.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s